Practicing My Peace: Rest & Wintering
I’ve recently started reading a book called, “Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times.” It’s the story of how the author, Katherine May, endures a particularly painful time in her life (she calls it her “winter”) by slowing down, resting and looking inward.
I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily in the midst of a hard time, but I can feel the anxiety of shorter days creeping in. When the sun goes down at 5pm, I start to question if I’ve done enough for the day. I ask myself, “Did I earn rest? Did I do enough to justifying lounging around?”
For the longest, I mistook being busy for a benchmark of success. I thought full Outlook schedules, lots of emails and meetings meant that I was moving the dial on the future me. I had things to do! Places to be! Meetings to attend! I felt *needed.*
Instead, what all of that “busyness” gave me was an excuse to quell any personal desires or ambitions. I was too focused on everything and everyone else, but I completely ignored myself. It was exhausting.
For the first time in my adult life, I am no longer busy. I don’t have a full Outlook schedule. I don’t have to hop on Zoom calls. There’s no boss telling me what to do. And I hate it.
As a recovering people pleaser, it’s so much easier for me to make space for the needs of others and not leave any room for myself. I think I would also rather be told what to do instead of doing the hard work of figuring it out for myself.
Point is, I’m no longer busy, but also coming to understand that I am the only one who can get me out of this rut. No one is coming for me to make sure things change around here. I know one thing is for sure, I can’t continue to live the way I have been and expect this season of grey and cold to go well for me.
May describes the way “plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through.
THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.
We cannot continue to live as we normally do during these darker months – we’re literally not designed to. We’re not meant to trudge through these grey months vigorously and with gusto. We’re meant to change. Adapt.
We’re meant to go to bed earlier. Cook for ourselves. Drink water. Set strong foundations for the spring ahead. Use this time to make spring epic and full and alive.
Through resting, we can get honest with ourselves and quiet our mind to focus on what brings us joy. When we take the time to nurture ourselves and slow down, we have the capacity to notice beauty and abundance all around.
Resting isn’t frivolous, it’s necessary for survival.
