How I’m Finding My Personal Style and Sense of Self
Defining my personal style has always felt like a bit of a daunting task. Am I a minimalist? Am I *actually* afraid of color? Do I like getting dressed the way I used to? Will I live in sweatpants forever?
I mean, I have a fashion sense. I’m able to piece together thoughtful outfits. But I’ve never defined my personal style or stopped to really curate clothes that represent who I am or how I want to express myself.
My word for this year is “nurture.” And in all honesty, it’s about coming back to myself. It’s about honoring the parts of me that need work, celebrating small victories, and showing myself compassion. It even means honoring the part of me that is in a bit of a style rut.
At first, purging and organizing my small closet felt amazing. However, I quickly recognized that I had more than a few gaps in my wardrobe and felt too overwhelmed to do anything about it.
I feel overwhelmed because I lack direction. I don’t know anything about how I want to fill those gaps. I don’t have a sense of what would honor my personal style or bring me delight when getting dressed.
I desperately need to romanticize my closet again. So, I’m treating these three steps to defining my personal style as a therapy of sorts. I am going to be honest, hopeful, and willing to put in the work.
Use the “Three-Word Method”
I WISH I could take credit for the first step of this process. But this style hack is the brainchild of none other than stylist extraordinaire Allison Bornstein. Using this method is one of the best ways to help you narrow down your style focus. The whole idea is that you choose three words that define your entire wardrobe.
And those three words, in turn, become your “North Star” when it comes to wardrobe decisions. Below is a list I used to inspire my word choices:
The first and second words embody a more practical approach. It describes the clothes you actually wear. To find this word, Bornstein recommends taking out of your closet only the things you wear most often. Look at them and figure out what word describes these things.
When I pulled out everything I wear all the time, “classic” came to mind. I pulled out blazers, jean jackets, tees, jeans, and sneakers – such classic silhouettes. Everything was neutral in color, and I loved it. “Neutral” is my second word.
The third word is more idealistic – what do you want your style to be? The idea here is to allow yourself to dream about what you’d like your style to evolve into.
For this third word, I knew I wanted to add just a little edge to my wardrobe. So, I chose the word “cool.” I know that I ultimately want a more simplified wardrobe, but with cooler statement pieces to punch up outfits. This feels like a great way to keep my minimalist tendencies in check while also giving me some flexibility and versatility.
Create Style Boards
The next step was to create mood or style boards. This was such a good exercise in putting my three words (classic, neutral, and cool) into practice. Using those three words as my guide, it was easier to spot vibes and pieces that I liked. I was quickly picking up on new styles that reflected my new direction.
A mood board does not have to be complicated. Use Pinterest! I created three Pinterest boards, one for each word, and saved images that fit each description. And because I tend to get off track, I set a timer for 30 minutes and pinned away! I didn’t overthink it. I just pinned whatever was speaking to me, using my three words as a lens, and even tried to choose outfits that were a little out of my comfort zone.
If creating mood boards or a Pinterest board feels challenging, use your favorite style icons or celebrities for style inspiration. For instance, my style icons are Jane Birkin, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, and Princess Diana.
Individually, their own sense of style is different. But, collectively, their looks are never fussy, always chic and timeless. I love all of the women’s abilities to mix and match styles, genres, and aesthetics in different ways.
Add Thoughtfully
It’s against every instinct that I have, BUT, I am not using this little style rut as an excuse to buy more things. Buying new pieces right away isn’t going to help me curate classic style.
However, the gaps in my current wardrobe need filling so purchasing a few key pieces will be necessary. The idea that I’ll find a signature piece, like a perfectly oversized blazer or pair of vintage jeans, is exciting and something I’m willing to work to find!
I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe and for a long time, I really thought I prescribed to one! But, since I now have three style words to work with, I’m able to use them to curate pieces that not only embody my genuine self but also work with what I already own.
I’m going to do a little more Pinterest research and use that inspiration to create a wish list of items. I think this will help me get really clear on what I need/want and how it compliments what I already own.
This process of uncovering my individual style has to be an honest one. A journey in which I learn to dress for the life I have and listen to my intuition.
Cheers!
